(NOTE: This post was part of a previous domain and comments were not migrated over.) Today is my 28th birthday! I sort of feel like giving that fantastic Bilbo Baggins birthday speech. You know the one, the part about knowing half of you half as well as I should like, and liking less than half of you half as well as you deserve. WHAT THE SNOBBERY!?? Kidding! Just the part about it being my one hundred and eleventh, since in blogger terms, I think most of you are turning the big 23 this year and I feel 900 years older than everyone! 😛
So last year, I wrote a post about how you can be me in 27 steps. This year, I think I’ll split it between revealing to you 21 little (mostly embarrassing) tidbits about myself and seven little truths I’ve grown to accept! Why? Because apparently, my 400 paragraph bio page and overly-honest Tweets just. wasn’t. enough. That and it means I can save seven embarrassing tidbits for next year – AREN’T YOU THRILLED ABOUT IT?
01. I have a thing for the Rock. I do want to know what he’s cooking. And secretly, I’m hoping it’s cheesecake.
02. I also have a thing for Channing Tatum. You shouldn’t admit tween-y things like that. You know what you also shouldn’t admit? That when you heard he used to be a stripper, you were saddened you missed out on your chance to stuff some dolla’ dolla’ billz down that.
Channing. Call me. We can make this work.
04. I like to feel cool and youthful by pop & locking to music in my kitchen. The trouble here is I can’t pop and lock anymore (not. even. close). I left that talent back when I left both cool and youthful. This does not stop me and I am sure the neighbors appreciate that I simply can’t muster the energy to close a blind.
05. Growing up, I had a crush on Aladdin from, um, Aladdin (hoping you followed me on that one) and Brooklyn from Gargoyles. You might be able to justify the well-built, tanned, and cunning street rat… but there is just no way to justify having a thing for a stone monster (unless you’re Bella Swan – NERD ALERT).
Brooklyn, call me. We can make this work.
06. I was always ecstatic when I’d come across a chunk of powder cheese flavoring in my Doritos Nachos bag. This should repulse people, but I found it to be entirely too satisfying. I know. I don’t understand how I became overweight either. *dusts crumbs*
07. I have a thing for Timothy Olyphant only because my husband looks like him in this photo.
08. I always defined super-drunk people as being, “Blotto.” Didn’t realize until I was 25 that NO ONE knew what I was talking about. Felt justified to find it’s an Italian slang term for the overly intoxicated. NOW YOU KNOW. And knowing is half the battle.
09. I have far more poo-related stories to tell than anyone I’ve ever met. Ever. And this should not make me feel proud and I should never want to share these — and yet, for some reason, I am overwhelmed by both those emotions.
10. I am driven MAD by people who can not spell basic words or use nearly proper grammar — be it a work email, Twitter update, or Facebook status. This being said, it never fails that while ranting this complaint to Sean, I’ll make up a word. Uneffective? Insultive? It also never fails he will notice, smirk, and repeat it. He’s so lucky I married him or we would just not be friends. 😉
11. A long time ago, I used to do this witch-cackle-laugh thing as a joke. Remember when your mom would tell you not to make a stupid face because it would get stuck like that? She lied through her teeth. But what she should have told me was never create a ridiculous cackle, because one day it will leave it’s apartment on Just For Fun Lane and take up residence as Your New For Reals Laugh Drive. And years after that, a friend will tell you it reminds them of Rosco P. Coltrane.
12. The shockingly little amount of time I need to consume a pint of Cranberry-Raspberry sorbet would horrify you.
13. My playlist is 98% best suited for a 13 year old girl, complete with Miley Cyrus, Mandy Moore, Britney Spears and Lillix. Don’t Be jealous.
14. I can sing along to more 1950’s & 1960’s songs than most people I know. We had a ton of old vinyls growing up and my dad played in a band dedicated to those eras (he also played with Dick Dale in the 1960’s and produced a record of surf music).
15. I can’t sleep with socks on. My feet get stuck in the sheets and it drives me INSANE.
16. I can out-lyric you to Diddy by Paperboy. Sup now? ::folds arms across chest::
17. I’ve seen Free Willy about 34589043854309530 times. Gets me every time.
18. I lived for a short bit of my life in Northern Calif with a horse, 4 sheep, 2 goats, some chickens and several evil geese. In case you’re curious, yes, chickens are a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e friends.
19. I was in a ballet video shown on America’s Funniest Home Videos, it won, and my dad is still bitter he wasn’t the parent to send it in.
20. I love sparkly things and so does Bailey. We might have been raccoons in past lives.
21. Last year, I told you of my quest to wear pajamas whenever possible. While cleaning out my closet last week, I sadly realized I own more pajamas than “real” clothes. Oops. Took that dream a little too far.
01. The key to any happy relationship is equal parts communication, honesty, teamwork and laughter.
02. It’s perfectly fine to reinvent yourself. Just be are certain that who you become is still genuinely you.
03. You should always love your pets just as much as they love you. Nothing is more warming than the wag of a tail or curl of a paw.
04. It always gets better — but the key is remembering situations are half the card you’re dealt and half what you do with it. Make sure you’re always meeting life at least halfway and put forth the effort you’d like to see back.
05. You don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to — but approach potential friendships with open minds. You often are the company you keep, so keep earnest company.
06. That Johnny Depp had it right when he said, “There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.”
07. Be honest in all aspects of your life, be it at play or work, with friends or strangers. Most importantly, always be honest with yourself.