How to Be a Brittney in 27 Steps.

February 1, 2010 · 1 comment

(NOTE: This post was part of a previous domain and comments were not migrated over.) I wanted to post something in honor of my 27th birthday. Because I’m awesome. BUT WHAT? Would I post 27 wonderful things? 27 life-changing lessons I’ve learned that will open your eyes and forever alter your future as you go forth with the new wisdom you picked up here, here at my site? In honor of my day of birth?

NOPE.COM. Instead, I decided to post something FAR more useful. 😉 I call it How to Be a Brittney in 27 Steps.

  1. Wear the same pair of Chucks you’ve owned since 6th grade, even though they’ve been chewed by many a dog throughout the years.
  2. Happily watch Pride & Prejudice (2005) one million times. Fall in love with Mr. Darcy all over again.
  3. Truly admire Dian Fossey and her work with gorillas. Plan to one day see her grave.
  4. Enjoy glitter and rhinestones on a level no one your age should.
  5. Love all things Disney. Love all things Tim Burton. Rinse wash repeat.
  6. Develop an unhealthy obsession with office supplies, especially notebooks. BUT DON’T WRITE IN THEM. Then you’ll be down a notebook.
  7. Always carry a soft spot in your heart for your hometown/state. Especially Catalina Island.
  8. Memorize and adore quotes. Especially those by the wonderful Mark Twain.
  9. Fight for the protection and preservation of manatees.
  10. If you’re looking for something, say you are “Nancy Drewin’ it.”
  11. Do something poorly, like sing the wrong words and someone groans? Say, “It’s better? Best?”
  12. Preface sentences with, “What the.” Examples include What the Awesome and What the Lame.
  13. Make an earnest attempt to wear a pair of fleece pajama pants at all possible times. Embarrass husband.
  14. When someone is being slow, quote Family Guy: “I hope you don’t mind if I pay you in pennies.”
  15. Comment when people mess up doing basic things, like spilling while drinking, with: “First time?”
  16. Desire to be more girlie, but find you enjoy wearing jeans and t-shirts more than life itself.
  17. Have a pension for cable-knit crew-neck sweaters.
  18. Take photos of your pets in birthday hats. Or maybe elf costumes.
  19. Love fiercely.
  20. Own many, many books that you start and never finish.
  21. Marry your very best friend. Be sure your dog attends.
  22. Absolutely, hands down, adore all things Harry Potter. Be a little jaded you’re just a Muggle.
  23. Force people to play Quip It! repeatedly on game night.
  24. Have a sincere problem saying no to potato chips and toasted onion dip.
  25. Keep a calculator by the bathtub, in your purse, etc. Constantly be calculating random ideas you have.
  26. Blog only the most vital topics worth sharing.
  27. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind (Dr. Seuss).

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