(NOTE: This post was part of a previous domain and comments were not migrated over.)
I decided that since everyone else gets to make big fabulous posts in honor of their children, I get to make a big fabulous post in honor of my dog. THAT’S RIGHT. It’s Bailey’s BIG FIFTH BIRTHDAY and to celebrate, I am shoving a huge picture/video/text-heavy post down everyone’s throats.
I remember the time…
- We brought you home on your dad’s 25th birthday — and you fell asleep cupped in his hand because you were that small.
- You felt the best spot to sleep as a puppy was across my forehead.
- You were 2 months old and started coming to work with me — and spent 8 hours chewing cables, stealing office supplies and, even once, my bosses wallet.
- You were 3 months old and decided to eat a slug, and when I reached for it, it pulled and snapped back and I almost vomited.
- You were 4 months old and found some poop at the baseball field, and when I reached for it, my hand went SQUISH and I almost vomited.
- You were 5 months old and found a gooey rabbit spine in the park, and I when I reached for it, it was sharp and bloody and I almost vomited.
- You were 6 months old and saw the ocean for the first time. You ran straight into a wave and then SCREAMING back to me as if the Pacific had bitch slapped you right then and there.
- You were 7 months old and I stupidly shared an insane amount of peanuts with you on the road trip to Washington. When you got there, you pooped a Pay Day and cried the whole time. You never learned your lesson and you still beg for peanuts.
- You learned to swim after a stick — and on your third try, you swam past the stick and tried to bring back a log.
- You put up with Fox eating your tail at night until we finally adopted Rom to distract him so you could sleep.
- You wouldn’t stop trying to steal some beach-goers’ pizza — and it ended with Sean sliding to catch you and covering their pizza in sand.
- You used to chase your dad up and down the driveway — and the time when you finally grew big enough to out-pace him.
You farted floss.
- You suffered through a pumpkin costume because the stupid stem hat made me laugh — and now refuse costumes altogether.
- My mother in law told me you are (adorably) pathetic, because you whimper and stare out the front window anytime she baby-sits until we get back.
- You interrupted Sean’s proposal because you felt you were being ignored.
- You decided I was taking too long to get ready for my wedding and decided to nap on my train.
- Despite having the worlds shortest wedding ceremony, I still have a series of photos of you eating rose petals before falling asleep during our vows. Good to know you found it that important.
- You faithfully slept on the love seat with me after my nasal surgery, so I wouldn’t be bored, alone or cold.
I love the fact you…
- Patiently dealt with a baby Emmie pulling your ears, biting your tail, stealing your chewies and coveting your toys… and still do, even though she’s all growed up now. 😉
- Wait to steal q-tips from the bathroom trash can until you’re sure I’ve stepped into the bathtub, because then you know you’re home free.
- Wait to snuffle your dirty feet all over my pillow until you’re sure I’ve stepped into the bathtub, because then you know you’re home free.
- Argue with me over when dinner time is and make your final point by kicking your food bowl upside down and stalking off.
- Will scream intently at the kitchen island, even though you can’t see the counter top, when you’re convinced something edible is just out of sight.
- Get in the car and IMMEDIATELY kicky-kicky the seat covers off so you can happily put your muddy paws all over the real fabric. THANKS for that.
- Love everything and everyone you meet, no strings attached.